Nagging Thoughts
by Red September
Summary: One Shot. Sometimes thoughts lead to questions. Sometimes when you ask questions you find more than just the answers you were looking for.


Hello everyone. This is my second story ever written and my first Eva one-shot. To be honest the first piece of fanfiction I ever read was 'Rain' by Rei-chan. I'm a pretty big SR fan, so that explains the pairing.

Disclaimer: I own nothing Evangelion, which is owned by Gainax, and whoever else helped in the project. I'm making no profit off of this. Also please don't sue me, I need my money to keep buying games and anime.

Key:

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

_Emphasis_

Nagging Thoughts-

* * *

Rei Ayanami, the pilot of Unit 00. Rei Ayanami, the 14 year old girl with pale skin, blue hair, and startling red eyes. Rei Ayanami, the uncaring and unfeeling doll...

That's how everyone thought of Rei at school and at work. It wasn't that she was unfeeling or a doll, it was simply that she didn't understand emotions. She had been bred to disregard emotions, after all they were not necessary for the commander's purpose. Because of this she never could grasp why she got an uneasy feeling, and why her heart rate increased when the pilot of Unit 02 called her a doll. She also could never understand why her face felt hot, or why she suddenly felt slightly queasy when she thought of _him_...

'Why do I feel this way whenever I think of Pilot Ikari? I should not, he is like every other person, and yet I feel he is different...unique, even special.'

These thoughts were frequently running through her head and yet she could never come to any sort of conclusion. Her train of thought was always in one big circle because the answers she thought she found would always lead right back to the questions she was asking. For the first time since Rei could remember, she was actually frustrated.

At first these thoughts only approached when she was near Pilot Ikari. However soon afterwards they began to plague her while she was alone. It wasn't too long before she found she couldn't concentrate on reading. She was even losing sleep, something that Rei had never experienced, which ironically was what she was experiencing at this particular moment.

She had considered asking Commander Ikari about these thoughts but she quickly disregarded that idea because she knew he would give her the same answer he always gave her inquiries "It is of no importance for it does not serve your purpose."

Rei had also come to the logical conclusion that when there was a problem with her, she was to report to Dr. Akagi, but she also had to dismiss the notion because she knew that the good doctor harbored a strong dislike for her. After contemplation she came to only one person she could ask just shy of asking Pilot Ikari himself... 'Perhaps pilot Sohryu could answer my inquiries? She also resides with Pilot Ikari so perhaps she harbors the same thoughts I do and can make better sense of them.' With that Rei decided to speak to Pilot Sohryu at school tomorrow.

When the sun finally rose, Rei Ayanami began her daily ritual of getting out of bed, taking a cold shower, and putting on her one school issued uniform. Stepping out of apartment 402 she barely even closed the door as she passed the threshold and made her way down the steps to both school, and hopefully her answers.

When Rei finally arrived and stepped into the classroom the first thing she did, as she always did these past few months, was glance at Pilot Ikari, who happened to have his head down and eyes closed. Just with that one glance Rei felt foreign emotions grip her, as well as increased perspiration on the palms of her hands.

She quickly made her way towards her desk near the window as if embarrassed. Of course this was impossible since no one really paid attention to her anyways. The students had long gotten used to her silence and aloof behavior, and quickly disregarded any and all of her activities. This worked to Rei's advantage because she mostly enjoyed her solitude.

As she sat down she glanced to her intended target who happened to be chatting animatedly with Class Representative Horaki at the moment. Rei had decided that the best time to talk to Pilot Sohryu would be after the dismissal bell rang, because both pilots had been assigned to clean up duty after class anyways. Time quickly flew as she gazed out of the window to the endless blue sky above Tokyo 3. When the bell had finally rung and the students had filed out of the classroom, she made her move.

"Excuse me Pilot Sohryu, may I ask you a question?"

Pilot Sohryu looked almost surprised when Rei spoke, but she quickly covered it with a feral glint in her eye and a somewhat twisted smirk.

"What? The great Wondergirl has a question for little old me? Why didn't you go ask your precious commander?"

Rei took no time in voicing her response. "I did not ask the commander because I did not believe he would give me a sufficient answer. I concluded that you would be the most suitable person to ask."

Once again Pilot Sohryu seemed surprised but it was covered quickly again with that twisted smirk.

"Very well Wondergirl ask your _question_." Of course she made sure she spat the word 'question'

Rei voiced her inquiry. "Why do I feel odd when I think of Pilot Ikari?"

Pilot Sohryu's jaw literally dropped. "What do you mean you feel odd when you think of that pervert Wondergirl!"

Rei took a moment to search for the right words. "Whenever I think of Pilot Ikari, I feel slightly ...queasy. My thoughts also become clouded and I feel uneasy...I cannot also sleep properly at night because I think of him."

There was a moment of complete silence until Pilot Sohryu finally broke it. "HAHAHAHAHAHA...HAHAHAHAHA. Oh... HAHAHAH... this...is...too...HAHAHAHA much." Pilot Sohryu continued to laugh for several minutes until she was finally able to regain control and catch her breath. "I can't believe this! You're the commanders doll and you're standing there trying to tell me that you have feelings for that perverted idiot! This is simply too much... Wondergirl likes the idiot. The wimp and the doll, a match made in heaven. I guess soon you'll call each other by your first names and go out on dates, except the idiot is too scared to go out with a girl!"

Rei contemplated this. '...I like Pilot Ikari, is that what this means?' "Pilot Sohryu, please explain what you meant when you said 'I liked Pilot Ikari'?"

If Pilot Sohryu's sides weren't hurting so bad, she probably would have been laughing again, but she somehow managed to contain herself. She made a loud exasperated sigh. "Jeez what are you stupid? You get nervous when you think about him because you like him romantically... duh Wondergirl, get a clue."

Even though Pilot Sohryu spoke tauntingly and with a sneer, Rei considered her words to be true. She had long accepted that Pilot Sohryu was abrasive on the outside, but Rei had often felt that she wasn't as rude and tough as she let on, it was simply how she dealt with her problems from her past. She believed that deep down, the girl could be nice when she could let down her defenses and think of the other person for a moment. 'I see... I have romantic feelings for Pilot Ikari... but what should I do about them?'

"Pilot Sohryu what should I do with these feelings?"

Pilot Sohryu looked thoughtful for a moment and in a surprisingly calm and normal voice said "Well Wondergirl, you should tell him how you feel. Knowing that idiot, it'll make him really happy. To be honest I have my suspicions that he feels the same about you."

'Ikari feels the same about me? I suddenly feel excited... this feeling... it feels good.'

There was silence and both began the task of moping, wiping, and straightening up the class room. Finally as everything was presentable Rei spoke up once more.

"Pilot Sohryu... thank you."

"...You're welcome Ayanami." It was the fact that Sohryu meant it, that made Rei actually turn the corner of her mouth up into a half smile.

Sohryu returned the grin. "There might be hope for you yet Wondergirl."

As they made their move to the doorway to exit the classroom it seemed as if Sohryu had just remembered something."Actually Wondergirl the idiot is probably still hanging around in front of the school. I told him to wait until I got done cleaning so he could walk me home but I _guess_ I can walk home alone for once, so you can speak to him privately."

Both pilots exited the classroom together and made their way down to the entrance of the school yard. As Sohryu had stated, Ikari was sitting on a bench waiting for her arrival.

"Hey Shinji, I don't feel like listening to your apologies on the way home, so I'm going by myself. Be a dear and walk Wondergirl home okay." She followed up with a wink, and set off towards home before Ikari could protest.

To say Ikari looked nervous was an understatement. His eyes were everywhere else except Rei, and he constantly shifted from foot to foot with his hand clenching spastically. Rei suppressed her initial uneasiness and spoke.

"Greetings Pilot Ikari."

Ikari's head whipped up like a bullet. "He...Hello Ayanami." He seemed to swallow. " I guess I better get you home before Asuka gets mad at me for having dinner late."

'Now is my chance.' "Very well let us proceed."

As they began walking towards Rei's residence, Ikari kept shooting glances at Rei.

'He keeps glancing at me? Does he really feel the same?' She decided to make her move.

"Pilot Ikari, may I ask you something?"

He seemed to have been debating something, so he was surprised when she spoke.

"Oh... of.. of course Ayanami, you can ask me any..anything."

She stopped walking and likewise he did the same. She fixed him with her piercing red gaze and voiced her inquiry.

"Is there anyone that you like... as in romantically?"

Ikari seemed extremely startled by this question because his cheeks turned red and he immediately began to stammer and mumble a response. "Well..no...I mean yes... well I think so... that is...I dunno... Alright.. Yes there is someone I like.."

Inside Rei felt like she had been punched in the gut when she thought of the possibility that she was not the girl he liked. This was a feeling she did not like one bit, but she outwardly didn't show her dissatisfaction.

He took a deep breath and continued. "Yes there is Ayanami. I... I like her a lot, but I don't think she has any feelings for me. She couldn't possible like a coward like me." He fixed her with a look that she didn't quite understand.

"Ikari, that is simply untrue, you are in fact very brave. You have saved this city from the angels time and time again. You have put yourself in danger to protect both Sohryu and myself as well as all of mankind. You have shown no cowardly actions at all. Why would you think that she didn't feel the same about you?"

It made Rei feel conflicted inside to admit that. While she felt disappointed that Ikari might in fact like someone who was not herself, it felt good to admit what she did and see his expression go from sorrowful, to actually sheepish.

Ikari fixed her with that look she couldn't place again and spoke with an unusually confident tone. "I don't think she feels the same, because she has never spoken my first name... not even once. Of course I haven't spoken her first name either... I think I'm afraid of how she will react if I say it." With that admission, the conversation abruptly ended.

They both started walking again towards their destination in silence, both seemingly lost in their own thoughts about their conversation. So caught up were they, that they didn't even realize they had arrived at Rei's apartment until they were standing right outside of her door. However neither made a move for a moment as if they both were expecting something to happen. After a somewhat tense moment of silence it was Ikari who spoke first.

"Well we're here. I should really get going... I gotta cook dinner and do homework you know? I'll see you at school tomorrow Ayanami."

Rei started to somewhat panic when he turned to walk down the steps. 'I didn't get to tell him how I felt... I can't let him walk away like this.'

"Wait!"

Ikari stopped walking and turned around somewhat surprised by the normally stoic girl's outburst. What amazed him was the fact that she seemed amazed by her own outburst as well. Was he hallucinating? because it appeared that Rei's cheeks were suddenly tinged slightly pink.

She finally spoke. "Thank you for walking me home...Shinji."

Rei watched as Shinji's face passed through several different phases. First his brows furrowed, then his jaws dropped, he then broke into a look of disbelief when he realized what she had just said, and finally broke out into a truly real smile.

"You're welcome...Rei." And for the second time in her life Rei treated Shinji to her rare smile. She quickly ran inside and shut the door, unable to contain the rapid beating of her heart, and the sudden excitement she felt. As she made her way towards her bed to sit down a thought passed through her head. 'Thank you... Asuka.'

Later that evening-

When Shinji arrived home he walked through the front door with that same dopey smile still plastered to his face. Asuka was waiting for him in the walkway with a knowing smile on her face and a teasing glint in her eye.

"So Third Child, what are you grinning about? You didn't do anything perverted to Wondergirl did you?" She almost couldn't contain her laughter as the look of utter horror passed over Shinji's face.

"No.no.no.no I didn't do anything to Rei I swear."

Asuka caught the non-fomality and stood there with a look of contemplation on her face that made Shinji increasingly nervous by the second. "Ok Shinji I believe you."

Shinji looked surprised. "You...you do?"

Asuka smirked. "Yeah I do... now go make me some dinner, I'm starving to death over here!."

Shinji just walked away shaking his head, already heading towards his apron to begin cooking, while Asuka stood in the doorway and smiled inwardly to herself. Even though she would never admit it out loud, she was glad that things had worked out, after all... this would make great teasing material to share with Misato.

The End-

* * *

Well what do you think? If you noticed how the names kept changing in formality I did that intentionally. It was hard to write names so formally and gradually make them casual, but I wanted to show how Rei was beginning to become closer to Shinji and Asuka. I wanted to keep it third person, but somehow lean more towards Rei's point of view. I'm not really sure if it turned out good, or if I just should have stuck with Rei's POV itself.

Also I think sometimes Asuka gets a bad rap in SR fics. I don't think she was a bad person, just misunderstood and I felt that she would generally help out a person, but she would never admit it of course.

Well please review and tell me what you thought.

Red September-


End file.
